Birthday Party Titles

And now?

And now?
And now I live a little 'for you every day. You who had to stay with me till the end, I left you, that you're not coming home anymore. As you came out two months ago and there six returned, even when you said you were fine but then you said you were afraid too. You off day after day, slowly with our hopes, I saw that you went away ... How clinging to me, your hands slipped from my floor and I could not hold you, and you you fell into the ravine.
I dreamed you called me and I did not hear you, I stretched my hands but I could not take it, but I was near there ...
I waited, I ran everywhere, I tried to be rational, I tried to sleep night and chase away the thoughts most blacks, I prayed as I did not do for years, I remembered all the words of prayers that I recited the last ten years, I have thought and talked about every day, every time I saw you on that hospital bed awake or unconscious, I have supported, encouraged, I incited to fight, but there was no way.
Last night I held her hand until the end: I am happy to have been there, I would never have forgiven it was the other way while you leave us. I saw you go away, I watched and then the days I have also learned to fight back those tears, weeping for the dead that was always my friend ... How unfair
die like that, so young, so good, so for good ... The church was crowded for you, who came to celebrate one last time, people who do not even know.
And now? Yes, I'm still here, but for what? In order to live more intensely, experience a piece for you, I have no other explanation.

Beatrice Eleanor